urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015 je vous deteste Kelly 2006-05-18T05:14:20Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:30153 2006-05-18T05:14:20Z 2006-05-18T05:14:20Z ATREYU!!!!! wow is really the only thing i can say about my life right now.<br /><br />i'm on medication now and its helping so much with everything. i have the best friend in the world who would do anything and everything for me, and lately i've been figuring out who my realy friends are and i'm so thankful for each and everyone of them. i now have a wonderful boyfriend who has never made me feel this way in a long time. and this week i'm actually moving in with him. yeah its kinda soon but we just thought we'd give it a shot. he keeps me away from everything.. even drinking.. which is a good thing.. hes trying to get me to stop smokin but i don't think thats gonna happen for a while. and every weekend he does a new surprise for me... i love it. i really hope things work out with us. oh yeah.. im starting some pjc classes soon and i pretty much got a job at PCF getting payed 9 bucks and hour. i'm pretty excited. i couldn't be happier! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:29719 2006-04-24T01:35:15Z 2006-04-24T01:35:15Z i lost a very very good friend of mine this morning to drunk driving.. i really don't know how to handle this, exspecially after evans accident. Ben Zabukovec was one of my best friends... i was the last person to talk to him before he got in his truck.. and not even an hour later he died. so for whoever reads this... please pray for his family and friends.. we all need your prayers.<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g264/hondachick980/kdjfhaklsdfhlsdfjasdfklj.jpg" border="0" alt="Image hosting by Photobucket"></a> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:29532 2006-04-20T19:50:38Z 2006-04-20T19:50:38Z angels and airwaves WE LOVE YOU EVEN GRACE AND WE'RE ALL PRAYING FOR YOU!!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:29356 2006-04-10T21:32:43Z 2006-04-10T21:32:43Z so i'm now in auburn and everything seems to be perfect since i got here. i found a job the first day i got here.. i start monday.. i'm pretty excited about that. i met soo many new people and their all awesome.. they actually treat me like a human being.. no one know my past life and i love it. it seriously is a whole new start and i think its going to be for the good. but i'll be back friday for the weekend so i'll say bye to all who matters then i plan on not talking to most of everybody for a long time. thats all folks... &lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:29125 2006-04-06T19:08:37Z 2006-04-06T19:08:37Z JEW - clarity i'm moving to auburn in a week. lately i've been in this state of depression. i don't know whats wrong with me but it just gets worse and worse everyday i spend in pace. so i'm leaving next friday to stay. anyways.. i don't know how the whole trevor thing is going. i don't think i'm ready for a relationship. i'm still trying to get over daniel.. yes even though i'm the one who broke up with him. just lately everything has been reminding me of the good times we had.. for instance.. i started to play warcraft again. my friend got a cat that looks just like turkey. someone gave me the killers cd. and just a bunch of other stuff. so i'm hoping moving away will help with getting over him too. depression has to be the worst feeling.. i cry myself to sleep every night.. i've gotten so close to doing cocaine again.. but thanks to my friends i didn't. i just can't do this anymore.. i can't live with the title of the coke head / whore kelly. i want to start over.. i want a clean slate. i'm exhausted from partien all the time, i'm through with drugs and staying in pace is just going to keep it all around me. and the sad thing is that when i move theres only going to be a good 10 people that i'll miss. anyways.. thats my update. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:28785 2006-03-22T09:48:11Z 2006-03-22T09:48:11Z NIN fo sho things lately couldn't be much better.<br /><br />i'm still living with kendra, i've made so many new friends in the past 2 weeks, i love my friends i already have, and i found someone i really like. :) you know.. the kind where you get butterflies in your stomach when u see them or when they call. i'm kinda excited cause i havn't felt that in a long time.<br /><br />so ok off that topic. uh nine inch nails conert was absolutely the most amazing thing i've ever experienced. i'm probablly going to be talking about it till i get to see them again. ;) i don't think it could have been any better. but i think its time for bed... &lt;3 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:28543 2006-03-06T21:04:21Z 2006-03-06T21:04:21Z so... i moved out.. party every friday and saturday so hit me up. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:28332 2006-02-19T02:49:33Z 2006-02-19T02:49:33Z T.I. ..... for sure lets see lets see.... first of all i have to say i &lt;3 my friends! i really don't know where i would be without you guys! <br /><br />anyways.. things have been really good lately. i had a job interview with the buckle yesterday.. it went well. im suppose to go back for a 2nd interview sometime. and monday i have an interview at ollies, which is where i would rather work cause then i can work with nadine and linzie :) plus i would prolly make more $$ there. so hopefully i will have a job sometime this week! i also got a new phone..<br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e362/xxkellsta69xx/fghj.jpg" border="0" alt="Image hosting by Photobucket"></a><br /><br />it awesome.. i love it. <br /><br />oh yeah! this wednesday i'm going to mobile to see the &lt;3 of my life ;) <br /><br />T.I &lt;3 &lt;3 <br /><br /><a href="http://photobucket.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e362/xxkellsta69xx/p59745a3ywg.jpg" border="0" alt="Image hosting by Photobucket"></a><br /><br />^^^^^^^^^^^<br />SO SEXY ! ! i can not wait.. its going to be great.<br /><br />plans for tonite::<br /><br />-pick up samantha<br />-make a few erans<br />-go to trevors<br />-go to michaels<br />-get kendra<br />-get crunk<br />-go to sleep<br /><br />:) hope everyone has a good nite!! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:28159 2006-02-03T17:48:28Z 2006-02-03T17:48:28Z so i guess things could be alot worse than they are. me and daniel broke up about 2 weeks ago. things with me and him have been good until today. he called things started off okay then he started to say that i was gonna get back into the same shit i got into before. he says i've been around cocaine 87% of the past 2 weeks. when i've only been around it 2 days. i don't plan on selling it ever again or even doing it.. if i do do it then its going to be like once every couple of months. i really don't want to get back into it and i don't see why he think that i am. i don't feel like feening for it, or spending all my money on it, or hanging out with the people i use to hang out with. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:27774 2006-01-05T17:26:51Z 2006-01-05T17:26:51Z <p><font size="4">I &lt;3 YOU DANIEL CARL STANFORD&nbsp;&nbsp; =)</font></p> <p><font size="4"></font>&nbsp;</p> <p><font size="4">so me and daniel are doing better. our 3 year is in a month 1/2. kinda wierd to say that i've been with someone for 3 years but it was well worth it. i couldn't have asked to be with a better guy. anyways, i get my wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow&nbsp; =(&nbsp; i'm really not excited about it at all. but can i say loratabs ftw??&nbsp; =D&nbsp; i've been sober way too long&nbsp; &gt;&lt;&nbsp; i guess thats really all that i have to share atm. i'm going to try and update this thing more often, for those who care.</font> </p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:27439 2005-12-25T17:21:36Z 2005-12-25T17:21:36Z Merry Christmas everyone!! <br /><br /><br />So its been awhile since i've updated so i guess i'll fill everyone in on my life. me and daniel are still together.. we're doing alright. i love him more than anything but theres always room for improvment. i'm in ohio now for christmas, and i'm ready to come home.. going to canada tomorrow to visist with more family. anyways, i miss my friends.. everyday i use to be with about 3 or more of them and now i can't even remember the last time i've talked to them. so hopefully when i get back from ohio i can see some of them =/ urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:27258 2005-09-09T03:47:05Z 2005-09-09T03:47:05Z HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY DANIEL!! I LOVE YOU urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:27036 2005-08-22T04:03:06Z 2005-08-22T04:03:06Z so i start school this tuesday.. not too excited.. but in a way i am. my classes on tuesdays and thursdays end at 12:15 and i only go to school mon. wed. and fry.'s from 9-9:50. so its not that bad.. its just goin to suck doin the work.<br /><br />anyways... me and daniel are actually doing really good right now.. i havn't been this happy in a long time. i seriously do love that guy more than anything. we've only gotten in one argument in the past like month.. maybe a few disagreemnts here or there. but nothing too major. but thats all i have to share with you all who are interested in how kelly miller is doing. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:26744 2005-08-11T06:28:42Z 2005-08-11T06:28:42Z so.. the rents are out of town for a week! woooo hooo PARTY TIME!!!! deffinately got fucked up tonight and it has been one of the best nights i've had in a long time. got to spend time with my most favorite person.. the one and only daniel stanford! whom i love more than anything on the damn earth. i've decided though that i really miss hanging out with all of my old friends. i really wish things could have been different... (rehab, "trying to find new friends") cause me and the old friends were really close... i miss them =( but thats really all i have to say.... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:26370 2005-08-03T04:55:08Z 2005-08-03T04:55:08Z i really hope tomorrows a better day =/ urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:26138 2005-07-29T00:40:59Z 2005-07-29T00:40:59Z I GOT MY NEW LAPTOP! woohoo i'm so excited.. its really nice. but thats pretty much all i have to say urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:26038 2005-07-24T23:04:35Z 2005-07-24T23:04:35Z so i officially have to say that i love daniel carl stanford. yep. <br /><br />anyways.. nothin new has happened.. except that i have signed up for my pjc classes. i'm pretty excited.. i got a new laptop *woohoo* to aid me in my college life. but my classes are:::<br /><br />interpersonal communication MWF<br />english comp 1 TR<br />human growth and developement TR <br />iterm math TR<br /><br />i don't know what times they are cause i left my schedual at daniels. but thats pretty much all that i have to update about..<br /><br />i love you daniel urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:25810 2005-07-02T00:26:31Z 2005-07-02T00:26:31Z so i'm in canada now.. its alot of fun... the weather is PERFECT. but i miss everyone in pace. daniel is liking it here too. but i guess thats it urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:25512 2005-06-19T16:43:03Z 2005-06-19T16:43:03Z FUCK THE SANTA ROSA COUNTY COPS!<br /><br /><br />got a ticket today.. i really don't know how.. but it happened. i was passing a cop..... he was driving the opposite direction of me and so he pulls onto the side of the road about 40 yards ahead of me and puts on his lights and tells me to pull over... how that makes sense? i have no idea. so then he finally pulls up behind me and says i have an attitude with him.. just because i was agreeing with him and says that my ticket is going to be 369.00$ so since i have an attitude with him he decides he should call my parents. (i'm 18.. i didn't think they could do that?? ) so he calls my parents and comes back to my car and tells me that now my ticket is only 80$. crazy world we live in. my dad says i should take him to court but.. thats too much hassel. i'll just pay the 80$. but other than this little occasion.. everything is good. i have my terrific boyfriend who i love. and my friends.. they are great. but thats all i have to update about. time to go to the condo with all 35 family members. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:25322 2005-06-03T23:12:59Z 2005-06-03T23:12:59Z i'm deffinately..... in love =) i couldn't ask for anyone better urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:24853 2005-05-28T09:04:27Z 2005-05-28T09:04:27Z tonight was fun.. ALOT of fun. i love you baby dan dan, feick, jimmy, alex, and cameron! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:24734 2005-05-27T01:11:20Z 2005-05-27T01:11:20Z Three names you go by:<br />1. kelly<br />2. kelfish<br />3. kelster<br /><br />Three screen names you've had:<br />1. hondachick980<br />2. xxkelsterxx<br />3. blondiey015<br /><br />Three physical things you like about yourself:<br />1. eyes<br />2. hair<br />3. tan<br /><br />Three physical things you don't like about yourself:<br />1. nose<br />2. figure<br />3. feet<br /><br />Three parts of your heritage:<br />1. french<br />2. indian<br />3. american<br /><br />Three things that scare you:<br />1. large bodies of water<br />2. dieing<br />3. roaches<br /><br />Three of your everyday essentials:<br />1. cigarettes<br />2. sunglasses<br />3. some kind of tshirt<br /><br />Three things you are wearing right now:<br />1. sunglasses<br />2. daniels hopesfall sweatshirt<br />3. hollister shorts<br /><br />Three of your favorite bands or musical artists:<br />1. the killers<br />2. jimmy eat world<br />3. avril lavigne<br /><br />Three of your favorite songs:<br />1. the killers- mr. brightside<br />2. jimmy eat world - table for glass<br />3. underoath- reinventing your exit<br /><br />Three things you want in a relationship:<br />1. to have the same "interests"<br />2. able to have fun alot.. but also be serious<br />3. for him to do sweet things<br /><br />Two truths and a lie (in no particular order):<br />1. i stopped doing drugs<br />2. im inlove with him<br />3. i like cottage cheese<br /><br />Three physical things about the preferred gender that appeal to you:<br />1. eyes<br />2. personality<br />3. teeth<br /><br />Three of your favorite hobbies:<br />1. eating<br />2. sleeping<br />3. hanging out with the friends<br /><br />Three things you want to do really badly right now:<br />1. um.. some of that white shit<br />2. talk to him<br />3. be in canada<br /><br />Three careers you're considering/have considered:<br />1. psychology<br />2. owning a coffee shop<br />3. gucci model =( like that would ever happen<br /><br />Three places you want to go on vacation:<br />1. canada<br />2. ireland<br />3. australia<br /><br />Three kid's names you like:<br />1. bernard<br />2. corneliuos<br />3. shellie<br /><br />Three things you want to do before you die:<br />1. thats <br />2. a<br />3. hard one <br /><br />Three ways that you are stereotypically a guy:<br />1. i don't like girly stuff (ex. jewlry)<br />2. um.. i handle drugs very well<br />3. i like video games<br /><br />Three ways that you are stereotypically a chick:<br />1. i have mood swings<br />2. i think i'm overweight<br />3. i don't think i'm pretty<br /><br />Three celeb crushes:<br />1. Brad Pitt<br />2. Johnny Depp<br />3. Tom DeLonge<br /><br />Three people you'd like to see take this quiz now:<br />1. i<br />2. dont<br />3. know urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:24332 2005-05-15T05:39:00Z 2005-05-15T05:39:00Z JEW- table for glasses so... i'm guessing that this is what it really feels like to be... depressed. like i don't really feel like doing anything.. and i have this constant feeling that i need to cry and once the tears start to come.. i just can't let it out.. so i now have this built up feeling inside me. and theres just one thing that could take that all away in a matter of... not even a second. but i can't mess with that shit anymore.. or atleast i'm really trying not to. i got really close to calling someone today to get some.. but i stopped myself and that was the hardest thing i have ever done. and i started to have another anxiety attack today while i was at daniels.. then one of my friends from rehab called.. and it made me feel alot better. but i dunno i just feel "unsure" about everything.. like i feel like theres something i need to be doing or that i'm waiting on but i know that theres really nothing to be waited on or needed to be done. i really miss 12 oaks.. i miss everyone there and almost everything about it. i never had to worry about anything.. i had really close friends with me at all times.. and i always had someone to talk to about "my problem". every wednesday and saturday i look forward to getting a phone call from the rehabians who are still in there.. and when i'm at my house the ones who are already out are the only people i talk to. now daniel is really the only person i somewhat talk to about things.. and he can't fully understand it because he doesn't have "my problem". but i'm really glad that he listens to me and trys to keep my mind off of "it". but everytime i start to think about it.. i get really anxious and get THE worst headache anyone could possibly get.. no medicine has been able to even make it feel alittle bit better. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:24083 2005-05-13T23:29:44Z 2005-05-13T23:29:44Z mike jones so.. first of all i want to say thank you to everyone who commented on my last post... i love you all!! but anyways...<br /><br />tomorrow is my 18th birthday.. i'm pretty stoked. even though "its just a number" its still exciting. now i don't have to depend on people getting cigarettes for me all the time. and speaking of cigarettes.. i've been smoking way too many since i've been home. maybe its my minds way of substituting my cocaine addiction with cigarettes. but i guess cigs are better than caine. but back to the birthday thing.. i'm really looking forward to the "birthday party" that my mom set up while i was gone. i get to see a bunch of my old friends again. i hope it will be as fun as i think it will be. anyways.. i really just wanted to say thank you to the poeple who commented.. you all made me smile when i read your comments.. i didn't really know what to say back. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:blondiey015:24004 2005-05-11T23:02:48Z 2005-05-11T23:02:48Z well.. hello everyone... its been awhile since i have updated so i thought i would.<br /><br />i've actually been in drug rehab for the past 3 weeks and got out this past monday. i miss 12 oaks so much.. i never thought i would acutally say that but after being at that place for 3 weeks.. and being around the same people all day everyday.. you get attached very easily. and i never thought that i would say this too but... i'm really going to try my hardest to stay clean. i didn't think that rehab would actually help me but it really does. after hearing 2 of the councilors stories really changed my mind on drugs.. and what they do to your life. i was headed down i fucked up road and i was getting pretty deep in it. i'm actually really thankful for my parents sending me there before i turned 18... which is this saturday! ;-) so now that i'm out is going to be the hard part of staying clean... changing my friends will be the hardest part becuase i absolutely LOVE all of my friends. as long as they don't fuckin do any drugs in front of my or talk about it in front of me then things will be ok.. but i know how it is when all you pretty much do is drugs... which becomes the only thing you talk about.. so i can't really expect them to change for me. so.. now i don't go to school so that will help with the whole "staying away from the old friends" thing. but i miss them soooo much. buti really am going to try my hardest to stay cleam but i can't garuntee it.